Therapists for Marital/Couples Therapy in South Africa

What is marriage counselling?

Marriage counselling is a form of psychotherapy that uses fixed therapy principles to customize treatment plans based on the couple’s unique needs. Unlike other forms of therapy, marriage counselling in South Africa and elsewhere is not designed to be long-term therapy. In that sense, the job of a marriage counsellor is goal setting. They focus not only on understanding and diagnosing a problem with a relationship in an empirical sense, but in setting a treatment plan customized to how the couple’s interactions have created conflict in their relationship.

What marriage counsellors do

At first, it seems like the job of a marriage counsellor is to do a kind of autopsy: to look at a broken relationship and figure out what killed it. However, that’s really just the first step, and it involves recognizing and analyzing the patterns of actions and beliefs that define a couple’s roles and have created their conflict with each other. Marriage counsellors need to be able to recognize the best and worst aspects of how people relate to each other to diagnose their issues. The next step is to start setting goals by changing these roles. Talk therapy, also called psychotherapy, is an essential aspect of marriage counseling. It encourages the discussion that not only helps the marriage counsellor discover the problem, but also provides them with the first steps towards the solution as well. In this way, when you search for a “marriage counsellor near me,” you’re really looking for a mediator, someone who can be an impartial diagnostician when they see your broken relationship in action. Their ability to help you set goals that will help you retrain this relationship to a state of comfort and happiness comes from research-based principles of talk therapy and other training that all marriage counsellors undergo.

Types of marriage counselling

When you search for a marriage counsellor in Johannesburg, Cape Town, Pretoria, or Durban, you’ll have a choice between three main types of counselling. You should consider the specialties of each one in relation to your needs before you make the final decision. The first type is the most common: a marriage counsellor who specializes in helping couples work through an existing marriage or relationship. This is what most people will think of when they look for a marriage counsellor, and it’s also what the majority of the talk therapy principles are designed to address. The second type involves marriage counselling that takes place before a couple is even married. This is for conscientious couples that may be worried about how their dynamic (or marriage itself) could affect the future of their relationship. By finding and ironing out problems with the help of a therapist now, many couples can set goals realistically and understand their potential problems before they snowball out of control and affect their families. The last type of marriage counsellor deals with couples who are divorced and likely sharing children, which makes it necessary for them to still see and cooperate with each other. This can create conflict when the issues that ended their marriage still exist and cause problems with emotionally adjusting to the new dynamic and mutually supporting the kids. This marriage counselling is not designed to get couples back together, but rather to give them strategies to cope with their new roles and come to an understanding. Whatever your unique situation, you’ll find experienced local marriage counsellors right here on Find Help.

When you should consider marriage counselling

You should consider marriage counselling if you feel like your relationship is in danger and you want to solve the issues before the situation becomes irretrievable. Divorces are messy and emotionally draining experiences (and they’re worse when they involve kids, of course). To protect your children and the emotions of you and your significant other, marriage counselling can be an effective way to identify problems and set mutually constructive goals before it’s too late. There are other situations which may be remedied through marriage counselling too. If you plan on getting married to someone and want to “test” your relationship and iron out the kinks, you might consider marriage counselling as a way to find an impartial observer to help you diagnose and treat your potential issues. Likewise, if you’re divorced and want to create a healthier environment for your own emotions and for the kids that are in shared custody, you may consider marriage counselling as a way to come to an agreement with your ex in a constructive, non-confrontational environment. Find Help offers expert marriage and relationship counsellors in Durban, Johannesburg, Pretoria, Cape Town, and across South Africa.

What are the benefits of marriage counselling?

It’s not easy to admit that your relationship is on the rocks. By convening in a supportive environment with your significant other and expressing your feelings in a safe place, you can both find an outlet for issues you aren’t addressing at home. This can have huge benefits for the quality of your relationship, which could include more openness, better sex, a calmer home life, or a stronger relationship with your kids. The benefits of seeking counselling as a divorced couple may not be as intimate, but you can provide a better environment for your children to grow up in by confronting the issues between you and your ex that are making everyone’s life difficult. At the point where you’re already divorced, the kids need to be the emotional priority. Marriage counselling can help you make them one.

Alternatives to marriage counselling

If you’re not sure about marriage counselling, consider traditional therapy instead. If you feel that a lot of the issues stem not from your spouse’s behavior but your insecurities and reactions, you may be able to heal your relationship by seeking mental counselling on an individual basis. Find Help can connect you with local: - Psychiatrists - Social workers - Registered counsellors - Clinical psychologists If they feel it will help you, our experienced psychiatrists will be happy to refer you to a trusted specialist for help with a specific concern or problem.

Frequently Asked Questions

These questions and answers can help you determine if marriage counselling is viable for you and what you can expect in the sessions.

What are the sessions like?

The initial session will involve a consultation that tries to help you and your therapist identify the issues that are impeding your relationship. After that, marriage counselling in South Africa through Find Help is relaxed and non-confrontational. The sessions are designed to be supportive and to use the expertise of the marriage counsellor to set goals and find solutions purely at the pace of yourself and your spouse.

Are all of your marriage counsellors registered and qualified?

Find Help’s marriage counsellors all hold Master’s Degrees in Counselling Psychology and are registered as therapists through the Health Professions Council of South Africa.

How long are the sessions?

Sessions typically last an hour or 45 minutes, but Find Help’s marriage and relationship counsellors will work with you to find a session time and length which suits all parties.

What if my partner isn’t interested in therapy?

While marriage counselling is always more effective when both parties are ready to come to the table, we know this isn’t always possible. Find Help’s counsellors can work with you individually to equip you with the emotional skills and tools you need to initiate meaningful interactions back home.

Can your marriage counsellors conduct online sessions?

While Find Help’s marriage counsellors in Pretoria, Durban, and Johannesburg are qualified to conduct online sessions, these are generally not as effective in a marriage counselling context as in-person therapy. If distance or busy work schedules make this impossible, however, online sessions can still be incredibly useful.

Is the information I share confidential?

So long as there’s no legal conflict, the information you share with your marriage counsellor will remain entirely confidential. Search for a “marriage counsellor near me” to be connected to marriage counselling services in South Africa and start reaping all the emotional benefits that counselling can offer. For more information on our marriage counselors, please contact us.